We intentionally had our children fairly close together. I want to be able to do things together as a family as they get older, and a large age gap would make that more difficult. I want us to go travelling or hiking or mountain biking or sailing or rafting or riding together, once they're all old enough to participate, and before they start leaving home.

Often it's really hard at the moment, though. I feel constantly pulled in three different directions, and constantly unable to make each child as happy as I'd like. This afternoon, for instance, I picked the girls up at 1 and we went home to pick up Daniel, eat a lightning snack, and locate all the library books. Then we went to playball from 2pm until 3pm, and then on to the library, as we do every second week after playball. So far, so good, despite the usual circus of chasing Daniel around the place trying to prevent him from clearing the shelves, assuring Lauren that the Superman book that she was hankering after was not necessarily just for boys (even though I was tempted not to combat peer-induced sexism in this case, as it's one of those nasty half-comic pseudo-books that I despise), and plain refusing to get Snow White out again. Why Robyn likes those uninspiring fairy-tale Ladybird books is beyond me. I've had to impose a one-pukey-Disney-fairy-tale-book limit per visit. Once she gets home, she loves the other books we get. She just thinks she likes that stuff the best.

Once we got home things went downhill. They all have such different needs. Daniel of course wanted to be fed. Lauren wanted to read, if possible, all 17 books. (Actually 15 out of 17 - Daniel had one and I had one.) Robyn wanted to discuss the specifics of some home-made dye she recently made out of some orange-coloured berries in our garden, and what other colours she might make tomorrow. Both Lauren and Robyn needed a snack, but didn't want me to be in the kitchen. Daniel wanted to climb up the slide and dance around on the top of the jungle gym, Robyn wanted to finish the cake she started on Tuesday but couldn't finish as we had no vanilla, Lauren wanted help with the shower. Daniel tipped my coffee out on the lawn and helpfully brought me the cup. The cake proceeded through the next two ingredients and then came to a halt due to the lack of eggs (prepared a few minutes ago for the girls' snack). Peter couldn't be reached on the phone to pick up eggs on the way as his battery was flat. Couldn't be reached by the office phone as no one bothers to pick up after 5, and then couldn't be reached by email as he'd just left, and then took a long time to get home as he had to drop a colleague off in the next village and stop at the shop for cat food, and a few other things he helpfully remembered we needed. Alas, not including eggs.

Speaking of Daniel, I don't know how I'm going to wean him; he's never accepted a bottle, and still wakes all night instantly furious if I'm not immediately there. Met a friend of a friend last weekend I last saw over a year ago.

She: Oh, last time we met, Daniel was just a little breastfeeding baby in arms.
I: He's still a breastfeeding baby, only not so little or so much in arms.

Robyn was a rabid nurser who also refused bottles and yet weaned effortlessly at 18 months. Lauren liked bottles and was also easy, at around 16 months. Neither of them were waking at night at that age though.

I urgently need to prioritise organising my grocery shopping (i.e. do a big monthly shop online) and meal planning. We are always running out of stuff, and waste much too much time picking up things in the morning before work or on the way home. And it's also expensive as frequently we pick up things from Woolworths which are, unfortunately, as expensive as they are scrumptious. We're supposed to be doing it now - setting up the online shopping list. Only it's so boring we were going to do it together for company. Only Peter's deserted to bed.