The kids are enjoying their trampoline immensely. We all are, actually. The installation process has been horrendous though. I must make a point of not having jobs like this done over the peak season. Summer holiday time is trampoline time, apparently. It became clear that the bunch who came to install the thing on Friday had probably not actually installed a trampoline unaided before. And the so-called supervisor was a total idiot. Must have been about 19, probably the boss's son working a holiday job, fantastically cool, and sun-glassed, the driver and supervisor for a crew of 'boys' who actually do the work.

They arrived at about 9, a bit late, with a loud hoot as they swung into the driveway. Mr Cool emerged and carefully removed his sunglasses, swaggered over, and asked me where I wanted it. So I took them up the garden and showed them the spot. I asked Cool if he was going to be staying. Oh no, he says, no, no, no. Of course, silly me, he's much too important to stay. And naturally he won't do any actual work.

I wrote them their cheque, because they were going to be finished in four hours before I returned, left Cool a remote to get in and out of the gate, and asked him not to forget to close the gate behind him because of the dogs. Cool disappeared, leaving the gate open. Fortunately he left before I did so I could close it. Four and a half hours later I was back, and the two guys were finishing off. Cool returned and went to look at their work. From the window I saw lots of gesticulations between Cool and the Gang, followed by Cool doing some trampolining, followed by more hand-waving. Didn't look good. I went out there and asked how things were looking. Cool informed me 'they' had stuffed up, as the sides were too sloping. So when the trampoline was bounced down hard, it hit the sides and a few rocks which were sticking out of the sides of the pit. Dangerous. Hmmm, maybe Cool wasn't as thick as I thought. Never mind, I said, no rush. So Cool disappeared to fetch two more 'boys' to come help, yet again leaving the gate open.

An hour later I went out there again. The pit was still not steep enough, according to Cool. The gang looked disheartened. I felt sorry for them. Come on, he said to them, if everyone gets down to it and works together, it'll be quicker. And he proceeded to watch them get down to it and work together.

And then I noticed how incredibly unlevel it was. It was bad, bad. Put a hose on that and the kids would have had a water slide. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. I tactfully suggested that it looked very unlevel to me. Could it be an optical illusion? After all, I was no expert. Cool looked. No, it was fine, he said. He had jumped on it and it was fine. I fetched a tennis ball and put it on the mat. Five grown men watched as it roared down-hill. I went back inside, getting a bit anxious now about fetching the kids. Half an hour later, I came back out. It was much better, but clearly still not level. They had dug one side about 10cm further down. I told them it was still not level, and an argument developed between Cool and me. It'll be fine, he said. Honest. Well sorry, Cool, but honest just doesn't do it for me, with a price ticket of R4000. At some point in the proceedings, Cool informed me that these 'boys' had possibly never done an installation before. Quite a sharp young man. At some point in the proceedings, I informed Cool that they were not 'boys' but grown men. I refrained from asking Cool whether he himself knew anything about trampoline installation.

I wished, fleetingly, that Peter was there to help get it sorted out. Then I changed my mind as usually in customer service issues he takes their side. He hates conflict even more than I do. I hate conflict, but I don't totally avoid it. He hates conflict, and he doesn't do it. We've had instances where it's been me arguing against whoever we've hired, AND against Peter. Though it would've been nice if he'd been there so he could have fetched the kids.

SO, grudgingly, they rolled the sandbags off the other side, raised it about 5cm by shoving a couple of rocks under the corners, and started shovelling dirt under the raised edge. When I returned up the garden yet again, I was surprised how quick it had been to do it. I was a bit surprised by the approach, but assumed (hoped) (had blind faith) they knew what they were doing. It was much, much better. I was so relieved I thanked them profusely, and as soon as they had disappeared, raced off to fetch the kids.

Later that evening, Peter and I went to take a look. Oh Lord. It was still not level. I couldn't believe it. Wondered all weekend whether I should ignore it, I should take on the company from hell (called Joy Trampolines, by the way), or we should adjust it ourselves, with the help of Maxwell, who works in our garden once a week. Furthermore, because they had just stuffed rocks under the corners and not properly compacted the earth under the raised side to support it, jumping on it was causing it to bend slightly in the middle. Only slightly, but it would probably shorten the life span of the frame.

So I called them this morning. The conversation went about like this.

Me: Hi. I had a trampoline installed on Friday, and I'm not hap -
Joy: What's the problem?
Me: Well, there were several problems during the installation and now it's still not -
Joy: What's the problem with the trampoline?
Me: The trampoline is still not level, despite the fact that at my request they twice made it more level on Friday afternoon.
Joy: Mam, I can assure you, we install hundreds of trampolines, and 90% of our customers are extremely satisfied.
This is relevant how, exactly?
Joy: Anyway, it's good to have it slightly unlevel, for drainage.
Rubbish. Total and utter rubbish. Did a bit of internet research and asked some other folks with trampolines. Also not something that was even mentioned by Cool.
Me: It's clearly unlevel to the naked eye. And we're also not happy with the levelling process, as all they did was put a couple of rocks under the corners and the frame is not properly supported.
Joy: Mam, do you want me to come and fill the hole in and take the trampoline away?
Where do these people COME from?
Me: Er, no, I would like to have what I paid for properly done.
Joy: (Sighs.) ALRIGHT then, we'll try and get someone to come and have a look.
Me: Can you tell me when, so I can make sure I'm at -
Joy: Don't PUSH me, now, I'm extremely busy at this time of year.

Thankfully they did actually come back, this afternoon. Imagine my dismay on seeing Cool emerge from the vehicle again. I was hoping for someone competent. Fortunately though, one of the diggers this time was different. This guy was amazing. You could see he was an expert. Within 30 minutes, under his guidance, they had loosened the frame, properly leveled it, raised the side, built up and compacted the earth properly to support it, and returned the sand bags.

Now I think I'll just go and get on the trampoline quickly before bed. I hear it's a great stress-reliever.