The weekend in a word: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Funny how things you take so much for granted when you get to do them all the time are magically and wondrously transformed when you hardly ever have them. The kids have overnighted with their grandparents before, but it's always been during the school holidays, so we've been working in the daytime while they were there. This was the longest we've ever spent together, just the two of us, since Robyn was born. It was a fantastic weekend, complete with all the trimmings.

At the 40th birthday party there was a younger married couple with no kids yet, and they were looking for those of us who are parents to convince them why they should take the plunge. I've never been one for this, and in fact those of who are are parents took pleasure in swopping more and more alarming portrayals of family life. And later, at the end, everyone else had gone, and we were chatting, with the couple who had invited us, about our life as parents. He said he could have been just as happy not being a parent as being one. That often, for example, he just wants to get up on a weekend morning and read a book for hours. And he just can't.

It's true, of course. The deliciously lazy weekend Peter and I just enjoyed would be there whenever we wanted it. Yet we would have absolutely no appreciation for it. Personally I think there is more joy in my life having kids than their would be without, and yet I know we would spend a lot more time on our own enjoyment if we didn't have kids. Pursuing a more hedonistic life I suppose. I know I'm growing through the experience of having children though, and I don't think anything could be a substitute for the intensity of those relationships. It makes a difference if you consider spiritual growth something worth striving for. If you have no belief in some sort of spiritual power or at least some sort of spirituality, I think it must be hard to assess the way your life is going beyond the obvious measures of success like money and career success and how you spend your free time - all of which are transient things anyway.